courtesy of Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 1998
Ann Landers, Advice Column

Dear Ann: This is in response to “Louisville,” who joined the national debate about whether the toilet seat should be left up or down. In my house, you put the lid down. This prevents the dog from drinking out of it, klutzes like me from dropping makeup in it and toddlers from throwing their toys in it. Who wants to stare at the inside of a toilet bowl while you brush your teeth? The lids are there for a reason. Use them. – Fed Up in Va.

Dear Fed Up: You weren’t the only one who wrote. Here’s more:

Dear Ann: When you stub your toe on the chair leg, do you curse the chair? If you bonk your head on the open cabinet door, why blame the person who left it open? That’s like saying, “Look what you made me do!”

“Louisville” said her friend groped her way to the bathroom without turning on the light because she didn’t want to wake her husband. Then, she fell into the toilet because the lid was up. Tell me, who would she have blamed if the lid were closed and she sat down on that? How could anyone feel her way to the toilet and not feel where she was about to sit? – Family Man in Ill.

Dear Ann: May I have the last word on the toilet seat debate? A toilet is not the most attractive household appliance. Closing the lid improves its appearance and prevents things from falling into the bowl. If the lid was not meant to be closed, then what is its purpose? I have composed a short poem on the subject that I hope you think is worth printing. Thanks, Ann. – Lucy Prentice, W. Vancouver, B.C.

Love
When a wife will wash her husband’s back
Then get a towel from off the rack,
That’s love!
And when at night he warms her feet,
Although he shudders when theirs meet,
That’s love!
Or when she makes his favorite cake,
Though the day is far too hot to bake,
That’s love!
But of all the signs depicting love,
There are few that can compete
With the man-of-the-house remembering to
Put down the toilet seat!

Ann Landers was a columnist with Creators Syndicate who wrote daily in the P-l.
The Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611-0562.